is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
