she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
