So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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