my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
