i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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