your parents love me but you hate me
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
