Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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