A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
