they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
