Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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