Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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