I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Let's get the cat blown out
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
