that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
