What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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