i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
