Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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