What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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