Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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