there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
