I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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