Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
