i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
