My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
