the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
