some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
