Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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