My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
