Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
