We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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