I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
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