You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Randomize
