The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Houston, we have a blender
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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