Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
