kristin has been a bad kristin
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
