Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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