Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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