I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
