her vagine was all disorganized.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
