Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
