can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
