Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I wish there were birth control emojis
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
