I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
