i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
