i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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