You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
