He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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