Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
