Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
