i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
