it hurts more in the daytime
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
