if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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